red chamber dream
well it's become something i don't care about anymore because it has nothing to do with me
did it ever have anything to do with you? haha
Archived M2K2 Forum
MULTIPLE REALITY
there is plenty of food to be found. it is not always like this. they are many below me, but i must also keep watch.
do i want to spend a little more time looking below? do i want to risk it?
with every step i am compelled to look. i know i shouldn't, but i do anyway.
my face brushes past some leaves and then i find under there exactly what i am looking for: a smooth touch, the presence a cymbal resounding, waves receding, reflecting the taste already filling me, my head rising, sweet skin sliding down, a smell intruding, and then it all stops, because i know that something is there, obvious now in my left eye. it must have been there for some time. it's because i was careless. but what on earth is it?
it's a small tree, split, burned, dead, rising from the earth with bright, naked pulp staring back at me accusingly and broken branches flowing down and out. its burns hiss and its three tiny eyes flicker in the light, beak twitching, two eyes meeting mine now, looking directly at me.
it is definitely alive.
will it come this way? how does it move?
scratch that - i don't want to find out.
but it obliges anyway, dead branches spreading again, one naked root writhing, extending, another close behind, rising. its huge, burned head floats above it like a dark sun, the whole monster shivering and sliding erect in another direction, eyes still locked to mine. my legs are ready to go, ready to give up on the food here that i found.
but then it is gone.
***
She's sitting right next to me, but we just aren't communicating. We used to get along a lot better. We moved in here together thinking it would last forever that way. I guess sometimes things just don't work out.
Every time I try to talk to her, she turns the other way and looks down at her hands. She won't talk to me. I don't want to keep trying right now, because I'm clearly not getting through to her, but I feel like I have a right to decide what goes on in my half of the place, and she's sitting in my half. Not only that, but she's blocking the way down to the first floor. At some point I'd like to go out with my buddies and get something to drink.
Now she's pouting.
Come on, stop it.
She stops!
But something's not right here. She's frozen - not looking at her hands - she's looking down across the balcony to something below on the first floor.
What is it? I follow her gaze.
It's a monkey, approaching fast. It's heading directly for us. Damn. If it's not one thing, it's another.
Sometimes we get monkeys in this part of the world. If they come up to your home, then they're up to no good. It's better to scare them away so they don't get the wrong idea.
Sighing, I sit up and wait for her to get out of the way. Listlessly, she leans, then leaves, and I take the short way down, ready to get this over with.
Peering around the corner, I can't believe this monkey. It's taller than most, and it has three eyes. Just how many different kinds of monkeys are there? Well, this one's pretty ugly, and it's about to get the shock of its life. It hasn't seen me yet. I'll wait until it's right next to me, then pop out and scare the crap out of it.
It's definitely up to no good. Two of its eyes are darting around. It's probably thinking about what it's going to take from us. Too bad - I'm one step ahead.
Just as it rounds the corner, I swing in and scream, my arm rising like I'm going to hit it, and sure enough, it jumps, two eyes wide, its own scream starting, and then it stops, staring, and I stop. Why isn't it running?
Usually they start running at this point.
It starts screaming again, and this time it's making all kinds of lewd gestures. What is wrong with this monkey!? It's nasty.
Now its hands are rising, and I realize I'd better back up. I'm on higher ground, but it's larger than I am. It's enormous, actually, looking at it now. I'll go back upstairs and get some ammo out of the store. If it wants to screw with me, then it's going to get a facefull.
Running back up, I suddenly remember our argument. But she's nowhere to be seen. I check every corner, but it seems like she went out while I was playing with the monkey.
Maybe she's gone for good. Then I would have to thank that monkey!
***
A cuckoo "nests" while her gold-crested colleague builds a bower. Orchids wave at tiny lizards licking. Green and yellow frogs land on toadstools without breaking them. Moths against bark betray themselves, twitching. A macaque pair reunites. Tongue taunting, a cold python hugs yet another rat while a young chameleon inches up a nearby trunk. A human juvenile with three eyes stops there, the disturbed air throwing two spiders from a web.
***
I'm staring out the window, waiting.
Every once in a while, someone comes. They're not looking for me, but I'm looking for them.
They'll stop at the window, peering inside, fascinated, and I'll grab them by the neck and inject them, and then they'll play nice for me while I take them apart and savor them, admiring every limb, every joint, every ribbon of flesh stretched and snapped in my mouth, nature's masterpieces reduced to a primordial ooze sliding down my throat.
I am the master here.
A dead leaf floats past the window, landing a short distance away. Then, twinkling, four stars appear in the sky. Is it already nighttime? The days are getting shorter.
The stars are soon joined by many others. The Milky Way, mountainous, rises in a cosmic collision. Sparks shoot past. I have never noticed this beauty before.
I am spinning beneath it, taking care of myself.
Now the galaxy's center, overpowering the intermediate fog, explodes out, and it is day again, a tear zipping open there, pitch rising, black below a white flash backgrounding many tiny dots crawling, marching in, ants carrying bits of leaves falling, remembering where they belong, singing together, fearing nothing.
Black antennae dance in heat rising from the dark path and falling from the sky still seeping in through the fold, sliding down to them unmoving, in gridlock dreaming, close relations unchanging, living unthinking.
Unfeeling, the ant-dots spin in spiral arms snaking out, waving, grasping, stroking, holding, surrounding the body, reaching across, behind, and inside the sky, understanding the world outside, on each arm three eyes opening, six eyes asking, and two eyes answering crosses flicker-teasing many green pinwheels consuming sparkling waters rising, single singing wing extending, ringing voices calling from above, the Grace of God smiling upon me.
One arm taps, then stops; a wave of flame says hello in English, the liquid injected hot and thick. I gasp, and then I turn back to the window, and there is no one there; there was someone there before, but they moved away, to my door; they came in, and now they are standing right next to me; I turn again, but their grip on me is strong, and only my head turns, and I see them again for the first time: four stars twinkling.
I see every eye in every eye.
I try to shake off the attacker. My body won't respond. Then the ground opens up and I'm tumbling, and on the way down I realize that I am still alive and that their grip has been broken, and then I try to get to my feet to run, but I have to watch my body moving in slow motion as my fear rises and crowds around me, a million eyes staring. I am naked.
Now I'm finally starting to run, and I'm at a tree, and I want to go up the tree, and I start to go up the tree, but I can't see anything, and I can't feel anything.
***
Afterword:
this one was extraordinarily difficult to write. i was never sure how it was going to come out, and, now that it's posted, i don't like it as much as some of the other episodes i've done.
i need to stop doing weird crap like this. over half the time i spent just gathering references. it's not supposed to be nonfiction.
i need to start establishing my own settings and characters and let other people fill in the details.
***
This program was brought to you by:
module - shatter ost
the mars volta - the bedlam in goliath
mizuki nana - magic attraction
there is plenty of food to be found. it is not always like this. they are many below me, but i must also keep watch.
do i want to spend a little more time looking below? do i want to risk it?
with every step i am compelled to look. i know i shouldn't, but i do anyway.
my face brushes past some leaves and then i find under there exactly what i am looking for: a smooth touch, the presence a cymbal resounding, waves receding, reflecting the taste already filling me, my head rising, sweet skin sliding down, a smell intruding, and then it all stops, because i know that something is there, obvious now in my left eye. it must have been there for some time. it's because i was careless. but what on earth is it?
it's a small tree, split, burned, dead, rising from the earth with bright, naked pulp staring back at me accusingly and broken branches flowing down and out. its burns hiss and its three tiny eyes flicker in the light, beak twitching, two eyes meeting mine now, looking directly at me.
it is definitely alive.
will it come this way? how does it move?
scratch that - i don't want to find out.
but it obliges anyway, dead branches spreading again, one naked root writhing, extending, another close behind, rising. its huge, burned head floats above it like a dark sun, the whole monster shivering and sliding erect in another direction, eyes still locked to mine. my legs are ready to go, ready to give up on the food here that i found.
but then it is gone.
***
She's sitting right next to me, but we just aren't communicating. We used to get along a lot better. We moved in here together thinking it would last forever that way. I guess sometimes things just don't work out.
Every time I try to talk to her, she turns the other way and looks down at her hands. She won't talk to me. I don't want to keep trying right now, because I'm clearly not getting through to her, but I feel like I have a right to decide what goes on in my half of the place, and she's sitting in my half. Not only that, but she's blocking the way down to the first floor. At some point I'd like to go out with my buddies and get something to drink.
Now she's pouting.
Come on, stop it.
She stops!
But something's not right here. She's frozen - not looking at her hands - she's looking down across the balcony to something below on the first floor.
What is it? I follow her gaze.
It's a monkey, approaching fast. It's heading directly for us. Damn. If it's not one thing, it's another.
Sometimes we get monkeys in this part of the world. If they come up to your home, then they're up to no good. It's better to scare them away so they don't get the wrong idea.
Sighing, I sit up and wait for her to get out of the way. Listlessly, she leans, then leaves, and I take the short way down, ready to get this over with.
Peering around the corner, I can't believe this monkey. It's taller than most, and it has three eyes. Just how many different kinds of monkeys are there? Well, this one's pretty ugly, and it's about to get the shock of its life. It hasn't seen me yet. I'll wait until it's right next to me, then pop out and scare the crap out of it.
It's definitely up to no good. Two of its eyes are darting around. It's probably thinking about what it's going to take from us. Too bad - I'm one step ahead.
Just as it rounds the corner, I swing in and scream, my arm rising like I'm going to hit it, and sure enough, it jumps, two eyes wide, its own scream starting, and then it stops, staring, and I stop. Why isn't it running?
Usually they start running at this point.
It starts screaming again, and this time it's making all kinds of lewd gestures. What is wrong with this monkey!? It's nasty.
Now its hands are rising, and I realize I'd better back up. I'm on higher ground, but it's larger than I am. It's enormous, actually, looking at it now. I'll go back upstairs and get some ammo out of the store. If it wants to screw with me, then it's going to get a facefull.
Running back up, I suddenly remember our argument. But she's nowhere to be seen. I check every corner, but it seems like she went out while I was playing with the monkey.
Maybe she's gone for good. Then I would have to thank that monkey!
***
A cuckoo "nests" while her gold-crested colleague builds a bower. Orchids wave at tiny lizards licking. Green and yellow frogs land on toadstools without breaking them. Moths against bark betray themselves, twitching. A macaque pair reunites. Tongue taunting, a cold python hugs yet another rat while a young chameleon inches up a nearby trunk. A human juvenile with three eyes stops there, the disturbed air throwing two spiders from a web.
***
I'm staring out the window, waiting.
Every once in a while, someone comes. They're not looking for me, but I'm looking for them.
They'll stop at the window, peering inside, fascinated, and I'll grab them by the neck and inject them, and then they'll play nice for me while I take them apart and savor them, admiring every limb, every joint, every ribbon of flesh stretched and snapped in my mouth, nature's masterpieces reduced to a primordial ooze sliding down my throat.
I am the master here.
A dead leaf floats past the window, landing a short distance away. Then, twinkling, four stars appear in the sky. Is it already nighttime? The days are getting shorter.
The stars are soon joined by many others. The Milky Way, mountainous, rises in a cosmic collision. Sparks shoot past. I have never noticed this beauty before.
I am spinning beneath it, taking care of myself.
Now the galaxy's center, overpowering the intermediate fog, explodes out, and it is day again, a tear zipping open there, pitch rising, black below a white flash backgrounding many tiny dots crawling, marching in, ants carrying bits of leaves falling, remembering where they belong, singing together, fearing nothing.
Black antennae dance in heat rising from the dark path and falling from the sky still seeping in through the fold, sliding down to them unmoving, in gridlock dreaming, close relations unchanging, living unthinking.
Unfeeling, the ant-dots spin in spiral arms snaking out, waving, grasping, stroking, holding, surrounding the body, reaching across, behind, and inside the sky, understanding the world outside, on each arm three eyes opening, six eyes asking, and two eyes answering crosses flicker-teasing many green pinwheels consuming sparkling waters rising, single singing wing extending, ringing voices calling from above, the Grace of God smiling upon me.
One arm taps, then stops; a wave of flame says hello in English, the liquid injected hot and thick. I gasp, and then I turn back to the window, and there is no one there; there was someone there before, but they moved away, to my door; they came in, and now they are standing right next to me; I turn again, but their grip on me is strong, and only my head turns, and I see them again for the first time: four stars twinkling.
I see every eye in every eye.
I try to shake off the attacker. My body won't respond. Then the ground opens up and I'm tumbling, and on the way down I realize that I am still alive and that their grip has been broken, and then I try to get to my feet to run, but I have to watch my body moving in slow motion as my fear rises and crowds around me, a million eyes staring. I am naked.
Now I'm finally starting to run, and I'm at a tree, and I want to go up the tree, and I start to go up the tree, but I can't see anything, and I can't feel anything.
***
Afterword:
this one was extraordinarily difficult to write. i was never sure how it was going to come out, and, now that it's posted, i don't like it as much as some of the other episodes i've done.
i need to stop doing weird crap like this. over half the time i spent just gathering references. it's not supposed to be nonfiction.
i need to start establishing my own settings and characters and let other people fill in the details.
***
This program was brought to you by:
module - shatter ost
the mars volta - the bedlam in goliath
mizuki nana - magic attraction