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Dood Trigger™
Sorry if I'm breaking rules or something, but I saw a topic title in Japanese and I need urgent help for an art job (a comic strip) that pays homage to classic right-to-left reading in Japanese manga. I need these two phrases translated, but I need them in actual Japanese characters. If anyone can help me, I'll be very very thankful and perhaps say your name when I receive the Nobel Prize for outstanding comic strip someday (they will create that category).

Here they are:

1) No! In Japan, you usually read from right to left.
2) There's no way to fix it. Now you know the ending!

Thanks a lot for any help!
Thread title: 
i can't guarantee any accuracy (i usually go the other way) but i'll do my best:

1) そんな! 日本で大抵、縦書きで読む。
2) 直す方法がない。今、エンディングを知っている!

could potentially be more accurate if i knew the context. virtually impossible to avoid it being bizarre otherwise (compounded by the fact that i'm non-native). it is more likely the above will be taken to be too rude than too polite.

also one caveat: the term i used for right-to-left also entails vertical instead of horizontal (no such thing as horizontal right-to-left in written japanese afaik so i don't even know if there's a term for it).
Dood Trigger™
This is awesome, nate, thank you very much.

It didn't have to be a perfect translation, just enough so that someone familiar with Japanese would know I wasn't drawing characters randomly. People will read those phrases in Portuguese (I'm from Brazil), as if they were subtitles for those Japanese characters.

The context is in the title. I'll name it "Japanese strip", but people will naturally read the left box first (enter phrase #1). Then they'll jump straight to the right-most box as told, and #2 will trick them.

Thanks a lot again! =)
haha ok. yeah, no problem. by context i meant like who the characters are and what their relationships are to one another, though it sounds like this will be fine for what you are doing. good luck with the nobel prize!
Dood Trigger™
Hahaha... thanks! grin new