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Omega Pirate Unit One,

I would advise you re-read the Confederation of Space Pirates' "Laws on Galactic Federation Communications." By writing a letter in the language commonly used by humans to a Federation bounty hunter, you are violating section 12 paragraph 14A, which directly states that all communications to such enemies (or made in their presence) MUST be in the form of unintelligble growling and/or screaming noises masquerading as a language. While your response’s tone is perfectly adequate (as I recall, Mr. Thardus was a valedictorian who graduated with honors in all of his classes) it still violates that statement and may have caused loss of position if others had noticed.

Thank you,
Kazaractsha
Regional Command Center, Tallon IV

Behold my relatively pitiful attempts at writing something simultaneously funny and Metroid-related...  Rolling Eyes
Quote from Pulse Bombu:
Sheesh! Im so glad Im not sent any letters.

Sounds like an  Idea  Exclamation
*Starts writing letter to Pulse Bombu*
Random date +1
Oh dear, it appears samus is up to her old tricks again?  Perhaps if I wasn't stationed on this horrible excuse for a position at lab Hydra, I would have had a better chance to settle myself down and make a nice family....

Random date +3
It appears that the metroids are now my only company, They're really starting to grow on me, cute little buggers.  However, It is my duty to simply watch over them and look like I'm doing work, being a drone is quite a punishing job.

Random Date +7
Phazon this and Phazon that, why can't we just stick to our typical affairs of galaxy domination?  I wonder what mother would think if she saw me doing work like this... Those metroids are becoming quite chattery, theres one in particular thats really aggrivating me.  Perhaps I should warn the others that those cases aren't going to hold them very well....

Random Date +8
Today was one of the worst days on the job I've ever had, they wanted ME to try and become an elite pirate, thinking I was nothing more than a drone.  "Its for the good of all space pirates" they said "You'll have a better chance against the Hunter" they argued "The Phazon is good for you!"  Blasphemy, pure blasphemy, Hopefully They'll just end up grabbing Jim during his shift instead, we do look surprisingly alike.

Random Date +12
Well, it appears that the carcass of Jim is currently being put on display in the middle of the room of my shift, Its a decent departure from the same ol' boring metroids, but its not the best work enviroment.  They say that theyre going to be working out a better strain of the Phazon, code naming it "Helix" .  What kind of name is that?  Hopefully, this time, I'll be able to avoid the testing....

*to be continued*
PAGE BREAKER
Ready and willing.
Wow. Pretty promising there, Syl.

(Gosh darn it, I SOOOOO wish we had just a simple smiley. One that doesn't have it's mouth open like a dork or anything.)


I sense an insulting letter in the near future. *runs and hides*
Pulse Bombu:

How are you doing? I'm doing fine right now. It must be pretty lonely around where you are, huh? I mean, I don't think your siblings are interested in what you are interested in, being, well, not that smart. (No offence.) So, how'd you like to come over to my place? We'll have...well...what do you like to eat and drink?
Sincerely,
Samus Aran

P.S. I talked to the SP Federation. They said they would make an exception to section 12 paragraph 14A, so they wouldn't have to kill you.
Quote from Mr. Chess:
P.S. I talked to the Federation. They said they would make an exception to section 12 paragraph 14A.

That was directed to OP. Not Samus.
Quote from Wassup Dawgs:
Quote from Mr. Chess:
P.S. I talked to the Federation. They said they would make an exception to section 12 paragraph 14A.

That was directed to OP. Not Samus.

What do you mean?
One thing you dont know is that I am the smartest Pulse Bombu.
I was talking about your siblings when I said "not smart." Not you.
Oh I see. *Gets back to work on Diffusion Missile Research*
*Gathers up references on weapons, abilities, and such to donate to Pulse Bombu*

*Realizes he doesn't have any such references*

*Wonders why he never bought any*

Hmmm...
Quote from Mr. Chess:
Quote from Wassup Dawgs:
Quote from Mr. Chess:
P.S. I talked to the Federation. They said they would make an exception to section 12 paragraph 14A.

That was directed to OP. Not Samus.

What do you mean?

Section 12 paragraph 14A was in the Space Pirates' handbook. Not Samus's. Samus isn't breaking any rules so she has no need to make any exceptions. Unless she talked to the SP confederation.  :?
Quote from Wassup Dawgs:
Quote from Mr. Chess:
Quote from Wassup Dawgs:
Quote from Mr. Chess:
P.S. I talked to the Federation. They said they would make an exception to section 12 paragraph 14A.

That was directed to OP. Not Samus.

What do you mean?

Section 12 paragraph 14A was in the Space Pirates' handbook. Not Samus's. Samus isn't breaking any rules so she has no need to make any exceptions. Unless she talked to the SP confederation.  :?

Oops.  Embarassed
PAGE BREAKER
Ready and willing.
*brain implodes*
Hey, Pulse, you know how to fix that?
Viking
Precursor
This thread has kind of inspired me, so in the future I'll write a letter to Spore Spawn. The only boss I've ever managed to skip.