Pogeymanz (PG)

2009-09-06 09:09:58 am

I EAT YOR cookies

New sprite comic, this time based on Pokemon.

This sprite comic has gotten the most positive reactions/reviews/comments by far out of my three sprite comics.

DESCRIPTION: OMG ANOTHER POKEMON SPRITE COMIC THAT FOLLOWS ONE OF THE GENERATION'S PLOTLINES WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO

wut

Rated PG for constant rude humor, minimal language, and occasional drug reference.

1: no u

2: The First Fight

3: Messin' With Sasquatch...Sorta

4: Team Nubzorz

---------------------------------

Yes, it's PG. That means little swearing. Especially compared to Buttshot.

Feedback is warmly welcome. No, really, it is. If you got something to say, please say it. I don't want the best chance I have to get good feedback from here to be ruined.

Enjoy.

Thread title:

New sprite comic, this time based on Pokemon.

This sprite comic has gotten the most positive reactions/reviews/comments by far out of my three sprite comics.

[B][U][I]DESCRIPTION:[/I][/U][/B] OMG ANOTHER POKEMON SPRITE COMIC THAT FOLLOWS ONE OF THE GENERATION'S PLOTLINES WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO

wut

Rated PG for constant rude humor, minimal language, and occasional drug reference.

[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/691704/no-u/]1: no u[/url]

[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/691875/the-first-fight/]2: The First Fight[/url]

[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/692021/messin-with-sasquatch-sorta/]3: Messin' With Sasquatch...Sorta[/url]

[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/692228/team-nubzorz/]4: Team Nubzorz[/url]

---------------------------------

Yes, it's PG. That means little swearing. Especially compared to Buttshot.

Feedback is warmly welcome. No, really, it is. If you got something to say, please say it. I don't want the best chance I have to get good feedback from here to be ruined.

Enjoy.

JaggerG

2009-09-06 09:44:02 am

Shifty Leader

That M2k2 guy

I used to make the mistake of making references I thought to be shocking as a funny joke, but it turns out they're just pointless references. Even the element of randomness doesn't make up for it, since the element of shock in these cases can be very mildly offensive and lose the same points it gained for randomness.

In the first comic, it's also pretty hard to distinguish a joke from a plot-panel. Some of the panels that obviously had jokes, I didn't even get, such as the third panel. And again, I had personally been turned off by the large-ish size of each comic. I'm not sure if there's a rule about online comic sizes, but I'm just so used to comedic comics being a mere four panels, maybe 8 on Sundays.

Although I have to admit, it is an improvement. From the ones I remember, this is a lot more to the point, and didn't fill in a lot of exposition. Length is great for school papers, but terrible for most entertainment, IMO. Progress is progress. It's also a great sign that you accept (and even ask for) criticism, and it seems to at least be making a difference.

I used to make the mistake of making references I thought to be shocking as a funny joke, but it turns out they're just pointless references. Even the element of randomness doesn't make up for it, since the element of shock in these cases can be very mildly offensive and lose the same points it gained for randomness.

In the first comic, it's also pretty hard to distinguish a joke from a plot-panel. Some of the panels that obviously had jokes, I didn't even get, such as the third panel. And again, I had personally been turned off by the large-ish size of each comic. I'm not sure if there's a rule about online comic sizes, but I'm just so used to comedic comics being a mere four panels, maybe 8 on Sundays.

Although I have to admit, it is an improvement. From the ones I remember, this is a lot more to the point, and didn't fill in a lot of exposition. Length is great for school papers, but terrible for most entertainment, IMO. Progress is progress. It's also a great sign that you accept (and even ask for) criticism, and it seems to at least be making a difference.

Soaprman

2009-09-06 12:01:26 pm

shrimp

and white wine

I don't like sprite comics much and I like long sprite comics even less. I won't lie, though. Your writing's not bad and your production values are quite good. The main issue here is the length; look for places where you can cut out unnecessary/mediocre panels (for example, you don't need that panel of him walking into ~~Oak~~ Rowan's lab). It makes the overall work that much stronger.

This kind of reminds me of something I would have made many years ago, which is why I guess I felt kind of compelled to give feedback!

Baby Sheegoth

2009-09-06 12:58:43 pm

I lol'd at "Wanna buy some crack?" because of it's sheer randomness.

arkarian

2009-09-06 01:06:07 pm

red chamber dream

random does not equal funny, and throwing in a bunch of misspellings and chatspeak words is lame, not cool. but my biggest complaint is that while there are a lot of panels, they're all very small and hard to read.

i'm not sure why you made it so long, either— seems like each comic has several jokes or what are supposed to be jokes, so why not just do four-panel strip? you could then make the panels larger, and you'd already have 16 comics' worth of material. also, by including just one or possibly two jokes in each strip you'd be forced to make them tighter, better delivered, and funnier.

for example, in the fourth strip, the woods are named "afterthat forest". taking an area from the game and calling it something different for the sake of a joke is a great idea, but unless i'm missing something, you don't really make a joke with it: you just say it's "afterthat forest", then move on. if you made it into a joke and put it into its own four panel strip, it might work pretty well.

Ultimate Ridley

2009-09-20 09:27:46 pm

I EAT YOR cookies

I can see where you all are coming from, and length is always the biggest complaint with my comics, but I just don't like the idea of a comic that updates with a strip containing... six panels or so. That only contains one joke each. One joke a week.

It's just my personal opinion, but meh.

I can understand the dislike for my sense of humor, however, seeing as most of you all are older.

But... I'm going to post the new ones since I posted this thread to see if I've improved in y'all's eyes or not.

5: The First Gym
6: BUT YOU SAID!!!!!
7: The Secret Path
8: Mount Sun
9: Battle on the Sun
10: Unwelcome Appearance
11: Joe
12: Corruption in Business
13: A New Friend
14: Lilph Co.
15: Teh Great Escape
16: Totally Not Filler
17: Thereafterville
18: The Department Store

You can at least say I incorporated less meme humor (with the exception of Team Nubzorz and Fartknocker) and leetspeak (with the exception of Team Nubzorz), right?

I can see where you all are coming from, and length is always the biggest complaint with my comics, but I just don't like the idea of a comic that updates with a strip containing... six panels or so. That only contains one joke each. One joke a week.

It's just my personal opinion, but meh.

I can understand the dislike for my sense of humor, however, seeing as most of you all are older.

But... I'm going to post the new ones since I posted this thread to see if I've improved in y'all's eyes or not.

[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/692447/the-first-gym/]5: The First Gym[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/693063/but-you-said/]6: BUT YOU SAID!!!!![/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/693177/the-secret-path/]7: The Secret Path[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/693935/mount-sun/]8: Mount Sun[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/694236/battle-on-the-sun/]9: Battle on the Sun[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/694795/unwelcome-appearance/]10: Unwelcome Appearance[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/695708/joe/]11: Joe[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/696196/corruption-in-business/]12: Corruption in Business[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/696345/a-new-friend/]13: A New Friend[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/696756/lilph-co/]14: Lilph Co.[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/696961/teh-great-escape/]15: Teh Great Escape[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/697804/totally-not-filler/]16: Totally Not Filler[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/700716/thereafterville/]17: Thereafterville[/url]
[url=http://pogeymanz.smackjeeves.com/comics/701384/the-department-store/]18: The Department Store[/url]

You can at least say I incorporated less meme humor (with the exception of Team Nubzorz and Fartknocker) and leetspeak (with the exception of Team Nubzorz), right?

tomatobob

2009-09-21 12:47:59 am

One shall stand, one shall ball.

Quote from Ultimate Ridley:

I can see where you all are coming from, and length is always the biggest complaint with my comics, but I just don't like the idea of a comic that updates with a strip containing... six panels or so. That only contains one joke each. One joke a week.

The idea behind a, say, four panel comic is to convey only the information needed for the joke, brevity being the soul of wit and whatnot. Trying to cram several jokes into one comic ends up being a waste as half of the jokes will get lost in all the text. If you are trying to tell a story longer comics can work, but even then you'd want to keep things fairly short for pacing purposes if not for the sake of the reader.

Your first comic here, The First Gym, has 33 panels, two of which are throwaways and the bulk of the remaining 31 are essentially the same thing. If you broke those up over the course of a week as three or four panel comics it would be more effective, in the current state it's just too repetitive for anyone to want to read. To your credit it looks like you at least ditched the credit panel in later comics, but then Lilph Co is like thirty freaking nine panels of what is, again, essentially the same thing. I'll grant that part of this is a limitation being a sprite comic, but there's no reason you can't use a little artistic license with the backgrounds to vary things a bit, or once again, you could shorten the comic. Cutting down on panel count forces you to focus on the important bits rather than things that seem important until you think about what you can and can't cut out. You should seriously look into finding an editor if you plan on making more comics.

The bottom line here really, though, is that the jokes just aren't that funny to begin with, and by dragging these comics out to 30 or so panels of attempted jokes you don't help yourself in any way. You have to focus on setting up and delivering one good, or at least passable, joke, this shotgun approach just doesn't work.

[quote="Ultimate Ridley"]
I can see where you all are coming from, and length is always the biggest complaint with my comics, but I just don't like the idea of a comic that updates with a strip containing... six panels or so. That only contains one joke each. One joke a week.[/quote]

The idea behind a, say, four panel comic is to convey only the information needed for the joke, brevity being the soul of wit and whatnot. Trying to cram several jokes into one comic ends up being a waste as half of the jokes will get lost in all the text. If you are trying to tell a story longer comics can work, but even then you'd want to keep things fairly short for pacing purposes if not for the sake of the reader.

Your first comic here, The First Gym, has [i]33[/i] panels, two of which are throwaways and the bulk of the remaining 31 are essentially the same thing. If you broke those up over the course of a week as three or four panel comics it would be more effective, in the current state it's just too repetitive for anyone to want to read. To your credit it looks like you at least ditched the credit panel in later comics, but then Lilph Co is like [i]thirty freaking nine[/i] panels of what is, again, essentially the same thing. I'll grant that part of this is a limitation being a sprite comic, but there's no reason you can't use a little artistic license with the backgrounds to vary things a bit, or once again, you could shorten the comic. Cutting down on panel count forces you to focus on the important bits rather than things that seem important until you think about what you can and can't cut out. You should seriously look into finding an editor if you plan on making more comics.

The bottom line here really, though, is that the jokes just aren't that funny to begin with, and by dragging these comics out to 30 or so panels of attempted jokes you don't help yourself in any way. You have to focus on setting up and delivering one good, or at least passable, joke, this shotgun approach just doesn't work.