"This just in: An angry mob has just formed outside the Arts message board, and is headed toward the 'make your own funny!!!' topic. There's enough people to feed an entire army of metroids, so, if you are a metroid, don't even think about sucking the life out of Samus. Instead, suck the life out of that angry mob!"
I know it won't fit, but if you want, I can compress it.