"Relationship" advice?

Idkbutlike2:

registered on 2009-01-02 07:16:09 pm.

Gender: male

Location: Reisterstown MD, USA

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Idkbutlike2

2010-07-22 07:53:12 pm

Everlasting Turquoise

Quote from penguinseatsocks:

Thanks for being one of the only people who gave advice other than "stomp the bitch". That's pretty much my plan for now.

Hey, I tried encouraging peer mediation, doesn't that count, lol?

penguinseatsocks:

registered on 2010-06-15 02:04:23 pm.

Gender: male

Location: Salt Lake City, Utah

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penguinseatsocks

2010-07-22 07:53:59 pm

It would, if it wasn't for the fact that it almost certainly wouldn't work in this particular case.

tomatobob:

registered on 2004-03-27 12:44:30 am.

Gender: male

Location: O'er yon hill

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tomatobob

2010-07-22 07:57:40 pm

Never stressed

who asks the internet for advice and actually expects anything useful in the first place?

penguinseatsocks:

registered on 2010-06-15 02:04:23 pm.

Gender: male

Location: Salt Lake City, Utah

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penguinseatsocks

2010-07-22 08:01:10 pm

Someone with a shred of faith in humanity (or the Internet).

Gaius_4:

registered on 2007-07-05 06:10:26 pm.

Gender: male

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Gaius_4

2010-07-23 01:37:22 am

Quote from penguinseatsocks:

Well, we were never dating to begin with. We were friends with benefits for a while, but that's pretty much over.

Quote from penguinseatsocks:

Bisexual, I'm pretty sure.

Quote from Gaius_4:

...the way you make this person sound seems like (she's) really shallow and self centered.

I knew it.

Anyway... FwBs... God. Okay. Being intimate with someone can usually make you have an emotional attachment to them. I suspect this is why you have a hang-up on this slut. Sorry if that term is too strong and offensive, but I just picture "bi-sexuals" as being promiscuous and all around careless in their "relationships". On the other hand... Anyone that is able to sleep with who-ever -whenever... IMO: They have to have a very cold/stony heart. And this seems to fit her (or what you've described) perfectly.

I almost want to say that (in light of the information I now know) you deserve all of this crap that you're getting. But if you realize how stupid it was then I just hope you can see it as a learning experience. stern

*old-fart mode off*

Seriously. I believe she is a lost cause. But, if you want to try to get through to her, let her know how you feel about her and all that... Good luck. I'd keep my emotions on guard though, and ~~expect the worst~~ do not expect the best of outcomes.

[quote="penguinseatsocks"]Well, we were never dating to begin with.  We were friends with benefits for a while, but that's pretty much over.  [/quote][quote="penguinseatsocks"]Bisexual, I'm pretty sure.[/quote]
[quote="Gaius_4"]...the way you make this person sound seems like (she's) really shallow and self centered.[/quote]

I knew it.

Anyway...  FwBs...  God.  Okay.  Being intimate with someone can usually make you have an emotional attachment to them. [i] I suspect this is why you have a hang-up on this slut[/i].  Sorry if that term is too strong and offensive, but I just picture "bi-sexuals" as being promiscuous and all around careless in their "relationships".  [i]On the other hand...[/i]  Anyone that is able to sleep with who-ever -whenever...  IMO: They have to have a very cold/stony heart.  And this seems to fit her (or what you've described) perfectly.

I almost want to say that (in light of the information I now know) you deserve all of this crap that you're getting.  But if you realize how stupid it was then I just hope you can see it as a learning experience.  :stern:

*old-fart mode off*

Seriously.  I believe she is a lost cause.  But, if you want to try to get through to her, let her know how you feel about her and all that...  Good luck.  I'd keep my emotions on guard though, and [s]expect the worst[/s] do not expect the best of outcomes.

Opium:

registered on 2008-08-19 01:51:50 pm.

Gender: female

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Opium

2010-07-23 01:43:14 am

Servin' you realness!!

FYI - bisexuality describes one's sexual orientation, and doesn't mean anything in terms of how promiscuous one is. One can be attracted to one or both sexes, but the number of partners they have or the types of relationships they have is not defined by their sexual orientation. That kind of prejudicial thinking is akin to ideas that gays are pedophiles/perverts or that heterosexuals are less deviant than others. It's bullshit.

Gaius_4:

registered on 2007-07-05 06:10:26 pm.

Gender: male

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Gaius_4

Edit history:

Gaius_4: 2010-07-23 03:45:15 am

Gaius_4: 2010-07-23 03:44:11 am

2010-07-23 02:27:12 am

Yeah. Good point. Confused

On a slightly related note... While flipping through some of the channels today (yesterday -by now) - in 2 different soap operas; young women were pregnant but weren't sure who the fathers were. Then I flip over to Barney the Dinosaur. They're singing a song... It was something like; "Uh-Oh, Oopsy...." (something about) making mistakes, everybody loves to have a turn... or whatever. And that seem to fit so well with the 2 Soap Operas where the girls were pregnant but didn't know who the father was... and the part about everybody having a turn. laugh new

ETA: I wonder.... If this girl is treating you this way because -deep down inside- she has strong feelings for you too, but she's treating you this way in hopes of pushing you away? Sounds weird... Or, by denying her feelings, then compounding the effect by treating you badly, like a fantasy acted out then becomes a reality.

The more I think about it the more I realize I don't know all the details... So there's really no point in saying 'this & that' when it may not even apply.

Yeah.  Good point.  :???:

[hidden="useless info"]On a slightly related note...  While flipping through some of the channels today (yesterday -by now) - in 2 different soap operas; young women were pregnant but weren't sure who the fathers were.  Then I flip over to Barney the Dinosaur.  They're singing a song...  It was something like; "Uh-Oh, Oopsy...." (something about) making mistakes, everybody loves to have a turn...  or whatever.  And that seem to fit so well with the 2 Soap Operas where the girls were pregnant but didn't know who the father was...  and the part about everybody having a turn. :laugh:[/hidden]

ETA:  I wonder....  If this girl is treating you this way because -deep down inside- she has strong feelings for you too, but she's treating you this way in hopes of pushing you away?  Sounds weird...  Or, by denying her feelings, then compounding the effect by treating you badly, like a fantasy acted out then becomes a reality.

The more I think about it the more I realize I don't know all the details...  So there's really no point in saying 'this & that' when it may not even apply.

TheGreenManalishi:

registered on 2008-06-30 11:04:09 am.

Gender: male

Location: England

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TheGreenManalishi

2010-07-23 06:10:13 am

The flesh is spongy and bruised

Quote from penguinseatsocks:

Someone with a shred of faith in the Internet.

Pretty sure you're the only one.

Behemoth:

registered on 2010-05-27 10:37:18 am.

Gender: male

Location: England

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Behemoth

2010-07-23 06:11:34 am

Da hell wid you :)

Yea she sounds like girl strongly in denial about something, (feelings for you, possibly) and needs something to get off her chest every once in a while and chooses you as the target. Just speculating of course.

Quietus:

registered on 2008-09-13 07:03:27 pm.

Gender: male

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Quietus

2010-07-23 06:19:15 am

Super Secret Area - Dead Ahead!

It sounds to me like there isn't any particular thing causing it, and it may well be a mix of all sorts of stuff. I'd say give her some space for a while, let her sort things out, and then allow her to make contact again.

Behemoth:

registered on 2010-05-27 10:37:18 am.

Gender: male

Location: England

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Behemoth

2010-07-23 06:43:54 am

Da hell wid you :)

She could also be the sought of person who gets off on causing people pain, making people feel guilty and black mailing them.

kesvalk:

registered on 2009-06-04 06:24:40 pm.

Gender: male

Location: in your mind

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kesvalk

Edit history:

kesvalk: 2010-07-23 09:32:36 am

2010-07-23 09:29:28 am

Indie Lover

Quote from Behemoth:

Yea give her time to discover who she is sounds like the best plan. Not saying she's young and doesn't know anything. I'd leave her alone for several days or however long it may take and see if she comes calling or even gives any hints that she wants to see you but only if she does it in a nice way. If she does. that could mean she's possibly, at the very least, fond of you.

but if she don't call back, i know a few people that could make it appear to be a accident...

Idkbutlike2:

registered on 2009-01-02 07:16:09 pm.

Gender: male

Location: Reisterstown MD, USA

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Idkbutlike2

2010-07-23 09:35:06 am

Everlasting Turquoise

Okay, I think you guys are taking this whole case way too seriously...

kesvalk:

registered on 2009-06-04 06:24:40 pm.

Gender: male

Location: in your mind

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kesvalk

2010-07-23 10:40:09 am

Indie Lover

really? i thought there is way too much joking in this tread O.o

tomatobob:

registered on 2004-03-27 12:44:30 am.

Gender: male

Location: O'er yon hill

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tomatobob

2010-07-23 02:53:37 pm

Never stressed

not nearly enough tbh

TheGreenManalishi:

registered on 2008-06-30 11:04:09 am.

Gender: male

Location: England

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TheGreenManalishi

2010-07-23 05:05:45 pm

The flesh is spongy and bruised

Number 47, eliminate kesvalk. Quickly, quietly.

Analord:

is in the group Banned.

registered on 2010-02-22 10:42:57 am.

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Analord

(user is banned)

2010-07-25 02:00:51 pm

funny read.

penguinseatsocks:

registered on 2010-06-15 02:04:23 pm.

Gender: male

Location: Salt Lake City, Utah

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penguinseatsocks

2010-08-09 03:21:22 pm

Last night, she got mad at me because I didn't want to go get pot for her. I was in another goddamn CITY, and she wanted me to go all the way to her house, pick up her money, and walk another 20 blocks to go pick up her weed. All because she doesn't want to get off her ass, or aquatint herself with her own goddamn connection, or something. No less, she got mad at me because I didn't have any more connections. I don't smoke pot. I don't even like it. But she expects me to drop everything so I can go get her a lame little 20-sack. I don't fucking ask her to walk all around town when I'm out of cigarettes, and that's an ACTUAL addiction.

Behemoth:

registered on 2010-05-27 10:37:18 am.

Gender: male

Location: England

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Behemoth

Edit history:

Behemoth: 2010-08-22 04:04:21 am

2010-08-22 04:01:06 am

Da hell wid you :)

I know this is a kind of a topic bump, but I've only just realised you had posted back in this thread and I just wanted to say... after reading that, it's made me condone violence against women... nah just kidding !

But I think it's fair to say on behalf of everyone here I'll just say, she isn't worth it and she's taking you and possibly many others for granted. She is just one big problem after another. Ignore her !

penguinseatsocks:

registered on 2010-06-15 02:04:23 pm.

Gender: male

Location: Salt Lake City, Utah

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penguinseatsocks

Edit history:

penguinseatsocks: 2010-11-30 02:22:38 am

2010-11-30 02:21:19 am

Allow me to gravedig:

I've since cut all ties with her. Having realized that I didn't want to be her friend any more, she did the mature thing and put my Pokemon game through the washer. She keeps sending me Facebook messages that go a little something like this:

"In essence, you, being the only one of any of my friends aside from Dani who really knew me at all, in any way shape or form, decided to fall victim to the gossip of people who don't have any right or reason to be able to talk about me behind my back, people who don't even know me at ALL.

Yet, instead of thinking about the fact that you know me better and they know nothing about me beyond the assumptions that they decide to make based on various factors that they have absolutely no background knowledge of.

For example: Zane told you that I ruined your game. What actually happened? You along with the rest of your band of friends made me cry by taking the point that I was arguing it and misconstruing it to find some kind of way to just repeatedly insult me with little relation to the claim that I was trying to make, and in a fit of bitchy, female revenge, Dani took and destroyed it; this being your Poke'mon Game. Nothing happened to your Metroid game. It continues to sit in a box in storage, where we had to put it when my mom and I were kicked out of our house.

You may claim that it's not as abrupt as I'm 'making it seem', but do you realize how abrupt YOU are making it seem? Until about a month ago, I hadn't spoken with you in about three months. The only thing that I had done was send you pictures and other such things in the hopes of amusing you or making you laugh or SOMETHING. And yet, when I'm finally in another situation where I'm communicating with you at all, you take that as an opportunity to attack me...? I'm sorry if I should be taking that as some kind of subtle change over time, but you attacked me very suddenly and completely out of the blue; you hadn't said a thing to me before then in months. No wonder it seemed abrupt.

I don't pretend to know what it is people are saying about me behind my back, but I can assure that whatever it is, it's not a claim that can be taken in seriousness, and you can't take their complaints as a reality. You can't base your own opinion off the opinion of another person. Do you really think that if I was as horrible as it seems that they're claiming of me, that Dani would still love me? That I would have any friends at all? That people, ANY people, would give a shit about me?

The only people who have ever had such a problem with me are the kids from City Academy; Tim, Zane, Simon...? And apparently you as well. Yet it is never anything that they will confront me about. All any of them, any of you, do is get furious at me for trying to defend something you don't like, find any excuse to insult me, and spread rumors or talk shit about me behind my back. If there was actually something wrong, maybe the proper course of action would just to be stepping up and confronting me about it. How would you know anything about me, anything about the person I am now, anything about whether or not I've changed, if the only kind of thing that you've heard about me in the past three months is complaints about everything I've done wrong or everything people don't like from people who haven't seen me since barely after the school year started.

Honestly, if that's all you hear about someone, that's what happens. If all you think about them is about what you don't like, if all you talk about is what you don't like, then you start convincing yourself that there are no redeeming qualities about a person that you don't even know anymore. What is the purpose of filling yourself up with so much baseless hatred for someone whom you can't even remember spending any kind of good time with, simply because you think it's too much fun thinking of how much you hate them, and can't stand being reminded that there could have ever been a time when you DIDN'T.

I've been observing at stores various things that I was thinking of getting you for Christmas: Penguin necklaces, pillow pets, other amusing and penguin-related gifts. And also amusing things to say to you over the phone: 'Is this just a ploy for attention, Landen?! 'Cause Goddammit it's working!!' On top of that, the fact that both Dani and I have a growing interest in forcing you to get a Neopets account, where you could have small cute penguins.

Yet, you insist that you hate me and enjoy insulting the living shit out of me for -what appears to be- no real reason. So if you really do have good reason to hate me, maybe you should tell me about it, and I can give you the reason why I do that, or I could change the behaviour, or I could at least understand what it is that I've managed to do wrong. But if I'm right in my guess, and you're just having too much fun bashing on someone who is steadily becoming nothing but a memory too you over things that may or may not even be a reality, then fine; enjoy your superficial life. "

...to which I replied "Ok" mostly because I knew it would push her buttons. So yeah, I quit being a pussy and dumped the bitch.

Allow me to gravedig:

I've since cut all ties with her.  Having realized that I didn't want to be her friend any more, she did the mature thing and put my Pokemon game through the washer.  She keeps sending me Facebook messages that go a little something like this:

"In essence, you, being the only one of any of my friends aside from Dani who really knew me at all, in any way shape or form, decided to fall victim to the gossip of people who don't have any right or reason to be able to talk about me behind my back, people who don't even know me at ALL.

Yet, instead of thinking about the fact that you know me better and they know nothing about me beyond the assumptions that they decide to make based on various factors that they have absolutely no background knowledge of.

For example: Zane told you that I ruined your game. What actually happened? You along with the rest of your band of friends made me cry by taking the point that I was arguing it and misconstruing it to find some kind of way to just repeatedly insult me with little relation to the claim that I was trying to make, and in a fit of bitchy, female revenge, Dani took and destroyed it; this being your Poke'mon Game. Nothing happened to your Metroid game. It continues to sit in a box in storage, where we had to put it when my mom and I were kicked out of our house.

You may claim that it's not as abrupt as I'm 'making it seem', but do you realize how abrupt YOU are making it seem? Until about a month ago, I hadn't spoken with you in about three months. The only thing that I had done was send you pictures and other such things in the hopes of amusing you or making you laugh or SOMETHING. And yet, when I'm finally in another situation where I'm communicating with you at all, you take that as an opportunity to attack me...? I'm sorry if I should be taking that as some kind of subtle change over time, but you attacked me very suddenly and completely out of the blue; you hadn't said a thing to me before then in months. No wonder it seemed abrupt.

I don't pretend to know what it is people are saying about me behind my back, but I can assure that whatever it is, it's not a claim that can be taken in seriousness, and you can't take their complaints as a reality. You can't base your own opinion off the opinion of another person. Do you really think that if I was as horrible as it seems that they're claiming of me, that Dani would still love me? That I would have any friends at all? That people, ANY people, would give a shit about me?

The only people who have ever had such a problem with me are the kids from City Academy; Tim, Zane, Simon...? And apparently you as well. Yet it is never anything that they will confront me about. All any of them, any of you, do is get furious at me for trying to defend something you don't like, find any excuse to insult me, and spread rumors or talk shit about me behind my back. If there was actually something wrong, maybe the proper course of action would just to be stepping up and confronting me about it. How would you know anything about me, anything about the person I am now, anything about whether or not I've changed, if the only kind of thing that you've heard about me in the past three months is complaints about everything I've done wrong or everything people don't like from people who haven't seen me since barely after the school year started.

Honestly, if that's all you hear about someone, that's what happens. If all you think about them is about what you don't like, if all you talk about is what you don't like, then you start convincing yourself that there are no redeeming qualities about a person that you don't even know anymore. What is the purpose of filling yourself up with so much baseless hatred for someone whom you can't even remember spending any kind of good time with, simply because you think it's too much fun thinking of how much you hate them, and can't stand being reminded that there could have ever been a time when you DIDN'T.

I've been observing at stores various things that I was thinking of getting you for Christmas: Penguin necklaces, pillow pets, other amusing and penguin-related gifts. And also amusing things to say to you over the phone: 'Is this just a ploy for attention, Landen?! 'Cause Goddammit it's working!!' On top of that, the fact that both Dani and I have a growing interest in forcing you to get a Neopets account, where you could have small cute penguins.

Yet, you insist that you hate me and enjoy insulting the living shit out of me for -what appears to be- no real reason. So if you really do have good reason to hate me, maybe you should tell me about it, and I can give you the reason why I do that, or I could change the behaviour, or I could at least understand what it is that I've managed to do wrong. But if I'm right in my guess, and you're just having too much fun bashing on someone who is steadily becoming nothing but a memory too you over things that may or may not even be a reality, then fine; enjoy your superficial life. "

...to which I replied "Ok" mostly because I knew it would push her buttons.  So yeah, I quit being a pussy and dumped the bitch.