Dear Thardus,
How does it feel to be lonely? How does it feel to be as smart as a box of rocks? Every time you think I’m coming, I’m not. You always think, “Yes! She’s coming! I’m going to blow her to bits!” Well, you’ve sadly mistaken. You think that I’ve got but a puny arsenal with only the Power and Wave Beams, a Varia Suit that makes me invulnerable to heat conditions around lava, but not in lava itself, a Thermal Visor, and some advanced Missiles, a Morph Ball with tiny Bombs and little Boost that may dodge a few of your attacks. Then, you think, “She’ll never obtain the item that she needs to complete her mission!” Well, you’re wrong.
Oh, I’ll come alright. I will come—at an unexpected moment. You’ll just be laying there, with your rocks all distorted—and when you hear the thumping of my Space Jump Boots, you awaken. You’ll soon find out that I’ve got a Phazon infused Suit, also equipped with water gear, an X-Ray Visor, Power Bombs, the Ice and Plasma Beams that are much more powerful than what I’m supposed to have, and a combination for each of the Beam Weapons that I have, making myself far more superior than your rock and ice based attacks. I take off a few of your rocks and then you summon a blizzard which is supposed to blind me. Then, after you finally find out that it’s not working, you bow down to my greatness, take down the blizzard, and try to fight your hardest to get me off of your back. You’ll think to yourself, “Oh crap, I’m going to die!” And that’s the moment when I take the final blow to the heart of your chest, and you diminish. Then, I find out that you left behind an upgrade to my Morph Ball.
You know what? Maybe I won’t even think of coming over and blowing the smile off of your face. When you figure out that I’m not coming, you think, “But, I don’t understand! She needs the Spider Ball to successfully complete her mission!” Well, I don’t, and I probably never will. Apparently, you have no knowledge about how I can skip past your nonsense, and never have to deal with you, ever again. You’ll just wish that at least someone else could come over and get rid of you. Well, no one’s going to even try. They won’t want to. The pleasure of such a thing does not measure up to become worth while.
It’s sad enough that a small person such as I can easily exterminate a beast such as you. It’s even sadder that that small person wouldn’t even care to battle you heads on. That’s the point. I don’t even want to kill you. You’re such a nuisance. Defeating you has no reward, except for the fact that I can somewhat make my journey easier. But, what’s the sense in that? I want a challenge. You’re not one. All of my other missions have been elementary. Do you see the point in this letter? I hope you do. You’re better off just crawling up into a little hole and starving yourself, to prevent a long, bored, and pointless life. Go on.
Sincerely,
Samus Aran
How does it feel to be lonely? How does it feel to be as smart as a box of rocks? Every time you think I’m coming, I’m not. You always think, “Yes! She’s coming! I’m going to blow her to bits!” Well, you’ve sadly mistaken. You think that I’ve got but a puny arsenal with only the Power and Wave Beams, a Varia Suit that makes me invulnerable to heat conditions around lava, but not in lava itself, a Thermal Visor, and some advanced Missiles, a Morph Ball with tiny Bombs and little Boost that may dodge a few of your attacks. Then, you think, “She’ll never obtain the item that she needs to complete her mission!” Well, you’re wrong.
Oh, I’ll come alright. I will come—at an unexpected moment. You’ll just be laying there, with your rocks all distorted—and when you hear the thumping of my Space Jump Boots, you awaken. You’ll soon find out that I’ve got a Phazon infused Suit, also equipped with water gear, an X-Ray Visor, Power Bombs, the Ice and Plasma Beams that are much more powerful than what I’m supposed to have, and a combination for each of the Beam Weapons that I have, making myself far more superior than your rock and ice based attacks. I take off a few of your rocks and then you summon a blizzard which is supposed to blind me. Then, after you finally find out that it’s not working, you bow down to my greatness, take down the blizzard, and try to fight your hardest to get me off of your back. You’ll think to yourself, “Oh crap, I’m going to die!” And that’s the moment when I take the final blow to the heart of your chest, and you diminish. Then, I find out that you left behind an upgrade to my Morph Ball.
You know what? Maybe I won’t even think of coming over and blowing the smile off of your face. When you figure out that I’m not coming, you think, “But, I don’t understand! She needs the Spider Ball to successfully complete her mission!” Well, I don’t, and I probably never will. Apparently, you have no knowledge about how I can skip past your nonsense, and never have to deal with you, ever again. You’ll just wish that at least someone else could come over and get rid of you. Well, no one’s going to even try. They won’t want to. The pleasure of such a thing does not measure up to become worth while.
It’s sad enough that a small person such as I can easily exterminate a beast such as you. It’s even sadder that that small person wouldn’t even care to battle you heads on. That’s the point. I don’t even want to kill you. You’re such a nuisance. Defeating you has no reward, except for the fact that I can somewhat make my journey easier. But, what’s the sense in that? I want a challenge. You’re not one. All of my other missions have been elementary. Do you see the point in this letter? I hope you do. You’re better off just crawling up into a little hole and starving yourself, to prevent a long, bored, and pointless life. Go on.
Sincerely,
Samus Aran
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